Manspeak

Manspeak

When it comes to communication with men things can be a bit difficult. Most of us as men are just not wired for communication, emotions, and feelings. We are genetically designed for procreation, and for conflict. Instinctually we know conflict, hostility, aggression and fighting. So when we become overwhelmed with our feelings, which can happen fairly easily, we tend to regress into aggression because we know it instinctually. It is in a sense our default self preservation mechanism. This can manifest as putting up a wall, withdrawing, pulling away, gaining distance or creating conflict. It has often been my experience that most men resort to conflict when they become overwhelmed with their emotions.

This is like the hopper overflowing. There is only so much room in the hopper and once it reaches capacity, the machine shuts down or runs over. It is important to recognize which of these things is happening. If the hopper is overflowing and he has shut down because the emotional bandwidth is all used up, then anything that you are trying to communicate just isn't going to be received. This is where I encourage you to take a step back and let him process. Give him time to work through what he is feeling at the moment and trying to process before you give him more to work through.



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